I’m going to put this on tumblr because if I post it as a rant on facebook, all the random family members I have following me will come out of the wood work to tell me to keep my head up.
I just want to bitch for a second and talk about how fucking annoying it is to be a good fucking person and for it to rarely come back to me in a positive way. I’m not saying that I’m a good person because I expect some sort of reward or good karma or whatever. I do it because it feels right, it feels like I’m being true to myself when I’m a kind, respectful, open-minded, hardworking employee and friend (and family member for that matter). But it bothers me to no end when I continue to get shit on or ignored (which sometimes feels worse) for just being myself. I do my own thing, work hard because I have high personal standards for myself, try to be a true friend, and for whatever reason, it’s not good enough.
It’s not that I think I’m perfect. Fuck, I hate myself more than most people can fathom. But I know that I am good at somethings, and one of which is being a caring, compassionate, hard working friend and person. The issues I have with myself are superficial, physical issues, but I know I’m fucking solid at the core…and I’m starting to realize that its not really what’s inside that counts.
Post Script: What the fuck is the deal with people following you or requesting to be your friend (here, facebook, instagram) when they never even say hi or message you or like or reblog your shit? Like really, be my friend, say whats up (please do, because as I’ve said above, I’m a good friend and I do care!), or creep in private because I just end up over thinking our “connection” when really there either never was a connection or there hasn’t been one in a loooong time.